Preparation is Key, Part 3

It was at the end of a long day, and all I wanted to do was crash on the couch with my husband.  I said so, and my husband asked, "Well, why don't you?" to which I responded, "My next day always goes better when I begin it the night before".


I make it a priority to get that cuddle time for relaxing every evening my husband's home.  It is one of the chief reasons our kids go to bed at 8:00 every night.  But, if I delay it just for fifteen to twenty minutes, I can get the ball rolling so my next day is smoother. If my husband's not home or if we watch TV together, I can take commercial breaks to do even more.  I might even begin these preparations before the kids are in bed.  These are my weeknight jobs:

• I either load or unload the dishwasher.
• If I need to pack a lunch or lunches, I do so.
• I make as much of breakfast as possible.  Sometimes, this is just getting the ingredients together, but other times I can have something completely mixed, wrapped, and sitting in the fridge ready to bake when we wake in the morning.  I might go ahead and bake muffins.
• Get clothes out for whoever might be going somewhere the next day. 
• Take a shower.  I used to only do this in the mornings unless I worked out in the evening, but it's nice to have this out of the way when possible.  Plus, freshly shaved legs is nice for romance! 
• Relax!  Anything else is extra:
• Get materials ready for projects I intend to do for "homeschool preschool".
• Wash a load of clothes so I can get right to hanging a load on the line the next day.  Remember not to run a dryer at nighttime if you use one because it is extremely dangerous!

None of this is a requirement, but really a mainly enjoyable part of my routine so that the next day, people aren't seen as interruptions to my day, but as blessings to be enjoyed and blessed in return.  Anything to have that feeling flow more freely!


I'll be linking up to Raising Arrows.  Check out everyone else's ideas for large family organization!

Preparation is Key, Part 1

I was so excited to see that Amy at Raising Arrows is going to be hosting a blog link-up on Tuesdays that is perfect for me!  It will be all about large family organization!  I need to learn so much in this area, while I do have a little to share too.  If you don't have a large family, you may still be able to benefit from the ideas shared.

The most important tip I have for keeping my sanity and enjoying my large family is to prepare, prepare, prepare!  I believe I have three weeks worth of ideas in the department of preparation, so I'll break it up into three parts.

I've got to confess that my flesh is pretty weak.  Anytime I see a young mom, and she wasn't at church the previous Sunday, I try to let her know I missed her.  It really is completely in love, not at all judgmental, until...she says something like, "It's just so hard to get the kids ready on time," or "We overslept.  Sorry."  Then, I know my heart has a long way to go because my holier-than-thou attitude starts creeping into my thoughts.  There's no need to apologize to me because I was able to enjoy myself in corporate worship whether or not that woman and her family were there.  I know these are excuses because I get four children ready mostly by myself. 

Here's the better thing to do.  Rather than becoming prideful, I must teach younger women the tricks of preparing my children for worship.  This is discipleship.

We begin preparing for Sunday morning long before we get up that day. 
First, laundry is prepared during the week.  Adult clothes are washed on Tuesdays here, and the kids' clothes get washed on Wednesdays and Saturdays.  No major digging around to find what we need.  The change of seasons sometimes means I may have to hunt on Saturday morning to pull out appropriate attire, but not usually.

 Before the kids even get their baths on Saturday night, I have everyone's clothes hanging in one location.  For me, that's the exercise bike sitting in our den.  It's not pretty, but I know where the clothes are on Sunday morning.  We can be even more prepared if I have the children pull out all of the right shoes the night before.  If the season calls for them, I also find all of the tights we need.

Everyone gets a bath the night before and goes to bed on time.  For us, that's 8:00 for the kids and 10:00 for mom and dad.  No one is allowed to doze off during worship.

 Iron all the clothes.  I do this once the kids are in bed because it stresses me a little to have a large, hot iron (A.K.A. a death trap) on while my accident prone children are awake.

Pull out everything you need to fix hair and have a general idea of how everyone's hair will be fixed before retiring for the evening.  I have three girls and love to fix their hair in as many different ways as possible.  Women at church have asked me if I get up at dawn to fix their hair, but I try not to spend more than twenty or thirty minutes on all three heads of hair unless we just happen to have all kinds of free time once we get started.  If you're new to doing hair, don't try something new the first time on a Sunday morning.  At least practice first to have some idea of how long it will take, so you can plan accordingly.

Set the alarm clock if you need it.  We can actually sleep in on most Sunday mornings, at least a little bit in comparison to weekday mornings.  Our Sunday school starts at 10:00, two hours later than school for us.  

Relax and enjoy the benefits of your preparation.  Even with my preparations, things can still go wrong.  Satan will try to spoil your best efforts.  Don't let him win.  Turn on some worship music to prepare your heart.

*Full disclosure:  I have the benefit of living next door to our church.  I know that helps!  In the past year, I've not arrived to Sunday School on time except once!  I let the baby sleep for his morning nap until the last minute, but only he and I ran late.  When he dropped the morning nap, we were able to go to church on time again this past Sunday.  Use your judgement.  I believe a well-rested baby is a happy baby for nursery workers.  With my first, I did set the alarm clock to wake earlier on Sunday morning so that she could get her nap out and still get to Sunday School on time.

Don't forget to read others' ideas at

 <a href=”http://www.raisingarrows.net” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://www.raisingarrows.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/LFO-icon2.jpg” alt=”Large Family Organization @RaisingArrows.net” width=”125″ height=”125″ /></

And just in case, I can't get that button to work, here's the link to Raising Arrows.

Happy Fall, Y'all!

It's beginning to look a lot like autumn around my house.  Some signs of the times:

 garland of painted leaves my four and three-year-olds made using this idea

 updated my mantle with this free printable, which comes in multiple colors

 pulled out my old wreath from A.C. Moore

 This is my "keeping it real" shot.  The rest of my porch needs some work.

 While on a date night recently with my hubby, I picked up some pansies...

and some mums.  (No, they're not in bloom yet, but any day now.  The better to enjoy them longer!)

What are you doing new with your homemaking now that it's cooling off a little?

God's Calling on "Our" Time Part 1

Today is a very dear friend's birthday!  I spoke on the phone with her yesterday and had a good little visit with her, though I wish it could've been in person!  She happens to be new to the stay-at-home mom thing to her two little girls.  I didn't have time to answer a question she asked me at the end of our visit, so I thought I'd answer it here.

She asked, "I know you're the preacher's wife, but how do you decide how much to do at church and other activities so you're also home enough?" - and while that's in quotes, those words are actually my paraphrase.

That's a great question!  I wish I had a perfect answer, but every family situation is going to be different because of the various needs each child brings with their own personality, gifts, and special needs.  Husbands work different jobs on crazy schedules.  Women have different callings to specific areas of ministry, some more demanding of our time than others.  All that said, I do believe there are certain guidelines we can use to determine if we're doing enough or too much.  As I began to write this, I realized these might be too lengthy to read in one sitting, so I will only cover a few guidelines at a time.

Keep your priorities the priorities.  A couple of years before I was married I went to a wedding of a couple called to ministry.  The pastor that performed the ceremony reminded Weldon and Sandy that their priorities should be: 1)God, 2) each other, and 3)the church.  I can expand on that a little.  Our relationship with God should be #1 no matter whether we're ordained to ministry or if we're laypeople.  My relationship with my husband is my highest earthly priority.  I would venture to add a third priority of children before coming to the church.  To accept marriage is to accept the gift of children if God so grants. 

Especially in the case of a pastor or a deacon, family life must be kept in order to be fit to serve the church.  The qualifications of church leaders are listed in 1 Timothy 3.  Verses 4 and 5 say: "one who manages his own household competently, having his children under control with all dignity.  (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God's church?)" - obviously family must come before church for priority #4 to be properly cared for properly. 

I believe church should be a high priority for laypeople as well because these are the people Christ died for, His bride.  They are to be our family, our fellow brothers and sisters.  God works through the local church, more so than any other small group Bible study, BCM, or parachurch organizations because God created the church Himself.

Corporate worship, the meeting together of the church weekly, should not EVER be avoided.   I just explained how family comes after our relationship with God but before church.  God commanded in Exodus 20:8-11 that we are to dedicate the Sabbath day (which now we observe on Sunday since Christ rose that day).  Hebrews 10:25 says, "not staying away from our meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near".  This is the bare minimum God asks, to be in worship with fellow believers once  a week.  I believe further involvement in Sunday School will help to hold us accountable.  You may be "lost" in the crowd in the sanctuary, but in a small group setting of your peers that meets on Sunday mornings, if you are faithful, people will begin to notice should you not be there for a few Sundays. 

"Back in the day" one might see younger couples that had been raised in church, had slacked off in their late teens and early twenties, but then made a return once little ones came along.  Unfortunately, today we see way too many new moms fall away because they allow the baby to be the boss.  I am all for moms being home with newborns, especially during cold and flu season, because it is not worth the risk of exposing a small infant to a germ, the child running a fever and having to go to the hospital.  This doesn't mean that dad and siblings must stay home.  In fact, it would be best for dad and siblings to continue in their routine, and change clothes and sanitize upon their return home, to help especially small children remember how to reverently worship in church. 

What I'm talking about is this:  The baby whose nap falls during church hours, so the family needs to be home.  The child that pitches a fit during every service, and whose parents decide it is just easier to stay home rather than train the child in the right way.  The family that always has a "sick" child or a "bad night". 

Ok, before you think I'm terribly hard and critical, let me explain why I feel the way I do.  As for naps, one day a week not following the normal routine will not hurt a child.  I'm a big believer in routines.  Trust me, one day will not hurt, and it's possible, if a baby is regularly in nursery, he or she may learn to sleep in the crib at church.  If not, a longer afternoon nap may be in your future. 

As to a child needing to learn how to worship reverently, he can't do it if he's not regularly in worhsip.  Others will not despise your child's behavior so long as they see that you are making an effort to manage it.  For me, there's a certain relief to see a parent taking a child out of worship to discipline him and then bring him back in ready to try again.  Praise God the parents are trying to raise their child in the fear and admonition of the Lord! 

Bad nights happen to parents of small children too.  I have been there!  I have to ask myself if I'm going to let Satan win that battle.  Sometimes, I feel like Satan sends demons to specifically target sleep patterns in babies so that Saturday nights become the most difficult nights of all.  I'm so not kidding.  He has attacked this preacher's family on many a Saturday night.

Please do keep sick children home from church.  We do not need to spread the germs around, but we also need to be realistic.  I follow the same rules for church that schools ask parents to follow.  If there has been no fever for at least twenty-four hours, it is acceptable to go on to church.  Listen to what your doctor recommends.  If it's possible to take a baby into worship that has recently been sick, but seems to be on the mend, and you don't want to get other kids sick, by all means, bring that child into worship.  Moms can always take a child out, but I believe God rewards the effort.

I believe most women who will read this are already following these two guidelines, maybe they're just reminders.  I'll hit more next time that might be a little under the radar.

To Each His Own?

I enjoy a good treasure hunt at an antique store, not that I experience one often enough.  Below is one of my favorite finds, found on a trip with my husband a couple of years ago.  We knew it'd be the perfect sign for our three girls' room.

At Passionate Homemaking, Emily shares about why she loves having a small home.  I agree that small homes can be what's best for families, but I have a different reason.  Small homes can help keep our children from being selfish.


The American dream has evolved from everyone wishing to be homeowners to wishing everyone have their own space.  Every child "needs" their own bedroom and in it, their own TV and possibly their own computer.  They each need room for their own stuff and a place they can be alone.  We've seen the damage this dream caused on the housing market with the economic downturn.


Our generation was raised by Baby Boomers who sold us this dream.  Many of us thought we needed the space and everything that went in it and felt entitled to it the minute we graduated from college or got married, and many of us unwisely went into debt to get it even if our income couldn't back up the mortgage.


And what if we can afford a bedroom for each child?  Is it best?  I don't know that it is.  So everyone has their own room and possibly thier own TV.  Before and after dinner, if everyone even bothers to eat dinner together, each person is in their own space doing their own thing.  That's not what's best for the family.  Not even sitting in the house together keeps us from teaching God's word to our children, let alone talking to them about anything else as we're commanded in Deuteronomy 11:18-19.


And as for everyone's "stuff" -  Don't we have too much of it anyway?  It's harder to remember that people are more important than things if we hold onto posessions too tightly. 


I'm all about a large kitchen and plenty of storage space, but it breaks my heart to hear people say they don't think they can have more than two children because they'd need more bedrooms.  Even if it's too early in the morning, it's a joy to hear sisters giggling with one another.  The lifetime affection between siblings is a precious gift.  We can give them more of that by letting them be together.

Closet Control

I must write. Right now. 

I'm trying to keep my mind off the crying coming from down the hall.  It's my son's first attempt at naptime without a paci.  It will be just fine.  We've been down this road three times before and emerged stronger, more resilient people sans pacis.

Until then, I thought I'd share a little of what I've done the last two days with my homemaking.

You know how some people keep mounds of clothes that are too little for them hoping they will fit into them again one day when they lose weight?  Their closets and drawers become full of items they can no longer wear and may possibly never wear again, because if the weight does come off, the fashion will probably have changed by then.

I have had the opposite problem.  My closet and drawers have been full of clothes I no longer wear because they're too big.  I know, I know, that's a good problem to have.  I am incredibly thankful for the good genes given to me that have enabled me to lose more weight than I've gained with each pregnancy (except one time, I fell four pounds short), well those genes and breastfeeding.  The problem is that I don't know if God's done growing our family, so I've been holding on to my post-partum clothes, those that I had to buy to keep my sanity during those moments of not believing I can possibly make it another day wearing maternity clothes when I'm not even pregnant anymore!

After my last baby, I decided to get rid of most of my maternity clothes.  I gave them to my cousin, thinking how silly it was to hold onto them any longer after four babies.  I gave away baby girl clothes once I found out I was expecting a boy, along with anything else my tiny two-year-old (then still wearing 12 month clothes) had outgrown.  Even with that clearing out and the clothes my youngest daughter has since outgrown, I'm still currently holding boxes of clothes for girls 18 months to size 6, for every season of the year.  That's a lot of clothes!

But when it came time to give away my newborn boy clothes, I couldn't do it.  One boy had worn these clothes for just a few weeks.  Then, it was the 3-6 month clothes I packed up, and subsequently, kept in the closet, just in case.  And so it has gone with those post-partum clothes, except I allowed them to stay in my closet, causing one terrible mess.

The last two days, I have taken every article of clothing from my closet and from my drawers.  I have thrown away the clothes that have spit-up stains or that aren't in fashion any longer.  I have made a pile of clothes to donate that I used to wear to teach back in the day.  I hung up the clothes I actually wear.  I put the shoes that belong to this season neatly on a shoe rack.  The out of season shoes now go in one of those plastic drawer "thingies" I added to my closet.  I also use one drawer for my pajamas, after pulling out my post-partum, great for nursing in the middle of the night, gowns.  The third drawer is for all of my swimsuits.  Yes, all of them.  I think I had seven swimsuits.  We enjoy the water a lot at our house.  I summoned up enough courage to throw away some of my college t-shirts that had faded.  I just couldn't throw away my NGC Survivor Homecoming 2000 t-shirt.  Those memories were too much fun, fellow NGC or NGU grads!  I threw away several nursing bras, but kept a few to put with the post-partum clothes.

Those post-partum clothes are in a stack, awaiting my trip to the DG to buy a plastic box for them, which will be their new home in the attic, just in case I do need them again some day.

Yes, I could've given myself a "keeping it real" gold star sticker by taking before and after pictures, but alas, I failed to do so.  And, I really don't know if I'm brave enough for that yet!

A Little Crunchy

So we got back from our trip just to have family visit for a few days.  It was great to see my mom, dad, and aunt and let them love on the grandchildren.  That said, I am breathing a little sigh of relief to be back in our regular groove, doing life the normal way, including how housework is done. 

I just finished hanging two loads of clothes on my "solar clothes dryer".  I love that term, stolen from The Morris Tribe.  While being green is a relatively newly popular idea, no longer just for hippies, it isn't new to me.  My mom hung clothes on a line outside when I was a little girl.  I'm not certain that I used my first clothesline at our first home when I was a newlywed, but after a year in seminary housing, I was happy to have one at our off-campus apartment in Louisville.  In an effort to save every penny I could in order to be home with our first born, I hung clothes outside 3/4 of the year.  In the winter, it was just too frigid for me to stand.  We put one up everywhere we've lived since. 

Some people believe the money savings aren't worth it.  I disagree.  According to my most recent magazine from my electric co-op, dryer use accounts for about five percent of our power bills.  I'm glad I can nip that bit in the bud and save my husband's hard earned money for other things. 

There are other benefits to me as well:

• I have guaranteed time outside every sunny day, so I get plenty of vitamin-D and plenty of good feelings associated with time outdoors.
• I get a little more exercise without trying too hard.  As much as I love modern conveniences, we are not as toned as women of the past who had to churn their own butter and scrub their clothes by hand.  Every little bit of manual labor helps keep us healthy.
• Our clothes smell nice and fresh.  Sometimes, it's hard to get that manly smell out of my husband's undershirts with washing alone, but the sunshine seems to clear it right up.
• Our clothes look nice and fresh.  There've been many set-in stains I couldn't remove until the clothes hung on the line and the sun naturally removed them.

I encourage younger women to get a little crunchy and use a clothesline.  Your pocketbook, waistline, and noses may thank you!

Happy Birthday to You!

This week is a busy work week for me! Along with the regular household work and wife and mommy duties, I'm preparing for VBS that will be held next week and working on two birthday parties for three of my children for next weekend! Every year, the same craziness happens in the midst of our family's mostly relaxing summer because there are TEN BIRTHDAYS in our family and extended families in the months of June and July. Our one daughter with a birthday in December is the only grandchild on either side left out of summer birthdays! One day, I think she'll see it as a blessing that she's only got to share her birth month with Jesus.

This will be a quick article so I can get back to all that work while the kiddos are napping. I simply thought I'd share why I go through all the work every summer when I could just do a little family shin-dig and a few slaps on the back for each of my kids.

1. Life is precious! Each life that comes into this world is someone made in the image of God, perfectly created by the Master Craftsman, and unique. Each birth is a miracle. Every year, we're happy to have been given another 365 days with each of our children and pray for many more joyful years to follow.


2. The birthday is the one day that truly belongs to each of our children. Thus far we haven't had any multiple births, so we can say the day we celebrate each child's birth, we truly celebrate them. At our house, Christmas is about Jesus, so we typically just get one gift for each of our kids. They get plenty more from grandparents, aunts and uncles, and church family. We really try to make the gifts received on their birthdays extra special, not necessarily expensive (though that's sometimes the case), but extra thought given to something they'd like.


3. All the planning and effort says, "I love you." I believe my kids are seeing the hard work and appreciate it when they get to have fun with their friends and family doing just the things they imagined they could do at their party.


4. The guests. Our kids get to spend time with their nearest and dearest friends and as much family as can be there on their own turf. Not school, not church, but their home. Usually. We've had parties at church and parties at a grandparents' house, but for the most part, we're somewhere the kids are relaxed. Parties most of all, are about spending time with people, not the food, the decorations, or the activities. My husband's going to grill at the girls' luau next Saturday, but for the most part, the food will already be prepared so we can be with those special people who are there to bless our kids. *In case you're wondering, this doesn't mean we invite the whole world. I try to stick to the rule that the number of children invited is also the number of the child's age, but it's not a strict rule.


5. It provides us the opportunity to publicly praise God for the gifts each of our children are to us. Sometimes, this is a witnessing opportunity, but it is always the joy of our hearts as parents to reflect on how God has been so good to us to entrust us with those four little lives.

So, you might not hear from me much over the next ten days, but know I'm doing what I can to choose what's best!

*Again, I'm turning into a broken record, but I'd love to hear from someone else about a Titus 2 Woman you'd like to make a Wednesday's Woman! If there are no volunteers, there will be victims! :)

Not all Good Things are Best

I have come to a few conclusions about homemaking, and one of them may seem to be a no-brainer, but it is often overlooked. In order to be a homemaker, I have to be home. This is not to say that women who work outside the home can't be diligent workers at home as well, but they must guard their "free" time especially well.

My husband and I made the decision before we were married that once we had children, I would be at home full time in order to have the time required to rear our children in the admonition and fear of the Lord, to support him in his ministry, and be a homemaker. Before I quit teaching but was expecting our first child, I remember my mother-in-law saying to me, "You think you're going to have all the time in the world once you stay home, but then once you're home, you see how full your day becomes. Make breakfast, clean up breakfast, think about lunch, clean up lunch, prepare for dinner, clean up dinner, and do everything else in between." It didn't take me long to understand what she meant.

It takes a lot of time to care for small children, to lovingly discipline them when it is needed, to structure their days with learning activities and fun play, while also doing the laundry for six people, cooking for six people, and cleaning up after six people. Factor in my need for a quiet time alone with the Lord, preparations for ministry activities, and time with my highest earthly priority (my husband), my days are quite full. Everything still goes very smoothly, until a lot of good things make their appearances. What kinds of good things? Any activity that is outside of my main priorities of God, Husband, Children, and Church. Anything that takes me away from my home, away from time with God, time with my husband, time with my children, away from church.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for spontaneity. There's nothing like busting out something fun for the family or to be with friends, but if I do it too much, everything suffers, first my house. Trying to catch up, I'll get tired, and then I'll be a pill to my husband or yell at my kids. That's not being sensible. So, I have to slow down and evaluate the things I do, so I'm not overwhelmed and look at every activity I do in light of what God's Word tells me I am called to be as a woman - daughter of the King, wife, and mother. For me, that means it is not the season of my life to take on every ministry opportunity (i.e. I don't sing in the choir because choir practice falls during dinner time for my kids. We don't want a low-sugar meltdown during church!). It's not the season for me to pursue all personal or professional interests outside the home right now (kids really do grow fast and I need to redeem the time I have with them, plus I can't obey Deuteronomy 6:4-9 if I'm not actually able to talk, sit, walk, lie down, and get up with my children). Finally, if I haven't seen my husband enough this week because he's been particularly busy with work, I'm going to chase away the foxes (Song of Solomon 2:15).

Now I'm going to go play with my kids and train some little women to be diligent workers at home because that's what's BEST!

Embracing Homemaking - No April Fool!

This is a snapshot of my daily life. Really. There are six people in my household, and I have a baby wearing cloth diapers, so six days a week, there's at least one load of laundry running. When my flesh doesn't win out, my spirit is happy to be a diligent worker at home. I can look at the chores involved in homemaking with the attitude that God has given me much, and I am to be a good steward of all that He has given. We live in a beautiful parsonage next door to our church. Three years ago, I remember getting a phone call from someone telling us that they were pulling out the old ugly blue carpet that used to cover the floors before we moved in. It is such a gift from God to live in my home that loving people provide for us! Most of us in the United States have great homes to live in, be it a single-wide trailer in the country, an apartment in the city, or a four-bedroom home in the suburbs. We need to try to take the best care we can of whatever we've been given. That said, I will not drive myself crazy, overburden myself, or keep myself from taking the time for Bible study or reading my children books. People are infintely more important than things. I have to involve others in the process of taking care of our home too. I can spend time with them and be a Titus 2 woman by training them to be good homemakers. This too is a snapshot from my life, my youngest daughter putting away the silverware for me as I unload the dishwasher. I want to have a hand in making her a godly wife and mother one day. That's big motivation for me to embrace homemaking!