Today, I'm finally going to share how it is I take my children into corporate worship services without losing my sanity. I'm not saying all of these ideas may work for everyone, but for me, they're key to worship being an enjoyable experience for all involved.
A few months back, I wrote about preparations for Sunday morning worship beginning on Saturday night. Getting everything ready (clothes and items that go with us) is essential to not feeling rushed in the morning. Playing worship music helps my heart's focus.
It is better to train before you expect the desired behavior rather than be forced to correct misbehavior later. The expectation has been laid out long enough ago now that my children normally know what to expect, but if I've seen an area they need to work on, I will remind them to do so before we go to church. My expectations for worship include speaking kindly to adults, shaking hands, sitting when we sit (and looking straight ahead), standing when we stand (such as during singing and through some prayers), and being reverent in behavior. Being reverent for us is being appropriately quiet and mostly still. I also do not allow my children to eat or drink in the worship service.
Potty before church. And it doesn't hurt to avoid drinks that have a tendency to flow through our systems quickly. I only give my kids milk on Sunday mornings rather than juice or water. My girls (and their Sunday School teachers) are pretty good about remembering a restroom stop before coming to worship, but I always ask just in case.
Choose a place to sit that works for your family. For some families, sitting near the front is best because the children focus better on the service without having to look over other heads. For others, like mine, the back is best because of access to the door. If a bathroom exit or discipline is necessary, I don't have to carry a child out in front of everyone. When my older children were smaller, I often had to take out more than one child at a time because my husband is the pastor and I sit alone. With two parents or grandparents, this may not be necessary. We also like to slip out with my husband to greet our church family at the close of service, so sitting on the end near the aisle is helpful.
Have age appropriate expectations. I already mentioned my general expectations, but it also changes with age. Because we sit near the back, I do allow my youngest daughter to stand in the pew during special music so she can see better. I also allow her to color out of a coloring book during the sermon (not before), but I do not allow my older daughters to do so. I don't allow the coloring book to come out before because any child that can sing their ABC's can be expected to learn the songs we sing in church or at least to listen. Once my kids are five, it is expected that they will follow along in their Bibles as the Scripture is read and look up at the pastor as he preaches. I open the Bibles to the Scripture and help my emerging reader move her finger along the words. Yes, this is a lot of work for one set of hands, but well worth it! My six-year-old can find some major books (Genesis, Proverbs, and the Gospels) and she often wants to find the chapter and verse on her own once I've found other books for her.
Discipline when necessary. If my child disobeys any request I make during a worship service, and I must repeat it more than once, I take her out to the restroom or outside to discipline her. We pray and return to the worship service as quietly as possible. Restoration must take place in our relationship in order to have happy hearts. Loud crying is not allowed or we go through the whole process again because we do not want to disturb others. This doesn't happen much. If you are clear from the beginning what you expect and what the consequences are, it gets easier!
Not too much cuddling! I know it sounds harsh, but this isn't the time for that! I'm affectionate with hugs and kisses, but if the focus is going to be on God's word while the pastor preaches, we've got to not be too involved with one another. I also don't allow my children to lay down in the pews. Saturday night and Sunday afternoon are times for sleep, not during the worship service. Eeeek! I know that sounds cruel, but we're the ones in charge of our children's routines, so we can help them to be attentive in worship!
So, I hope this is helpful for those of you trying this for the first time. For those of you who may have missed my reasons for bringing children into corporate worship, here's the link.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Kids in Corporate Worship
Parenting is hard work.
If you're already a parent, you're probably thinking No kidding.
My concern is that we often hand off that hard work to other people - i.e. grandparents, teachers, the church. When we do, we miss opportunities to share God's Word with our children ourselves, one of the greatest joys to be had in parenting.
As far as it goes with church, I'm not saying that children don't benefit greatly from having other adults serve as their teachers during Sunday School, missions education programs, or Vacation Bible School. My focus is on the Sunday morning corporate worship hour. Here are my arguments for children worshiping with the rest of the church body and not off in "children's church" or something similar. And before you read them, it might be helpful to know I'm talking about children three years of age and older.
Children need to hear their pastor's preaching. Most of my life, I've been part of churches which are small enough they've only supported one full time staff, the pastor, but I've also been a member of the largest Southern Baptist Church in the state of Kentucky with a very large staff, and also part of a church plant that met in a trailer, and it eventually supported a bi-vocational pastor. In every circumstance, I believe children need to hear their senior pastor preach.
The senior pastor's preaching is the uniting, teaching voice to the church. Lead by the Holy Spirit, the pastor studies and prepares to deliver sermons each week that will be edifying to the church body. The senior pastor is the shepherd of the local church body. He knows the needs of his congregation. He knows in which direction the church needs to be lead. Every member and future member of the church should be familiar with what the pastor teaches. A child can't truly say "this is what our church believes" if he's never heard his pastor preach.
The pastor also can't be more than a preacher if he doesn't regularly see his church body, even the littles. Most pastors stand at the door to greet the congregation at the end of each service and often at the beginning. Even the big 'ol church I was part of, the senior pastor did this. This is a time for handshakes and hugs, words of love. Kids need to be a part of this.
It encourages intergenerational bonding within the body of Christ. If our children don't get to know the adults of the church, how then are they to find Titus 2 men and women? On the other hand, most older adults are encouraged by seeing the coming generations learning to love God.
At this point, if you haven't already, you may be thinking about some snooty adults that don't want to be bothered by children in the worship service. They may say they're distracted. Your pastor may address this, but we do know that not everyone who attends church is saved. And even among Christians, we are all growing at different paces and to different levels in our Christian faith. Distraction can be a real issue when parents don't make attempts at dealing with minor behavior issues before they become big ones, but most of the time, distraction is a heart issue for the one being distracted.
It is a form of discipline for the parent. Yes, I mean that as a positive argument. Kids might make it hard to focus on the sermon for a season. They may test your patience. You may have to learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. Are you one that makes threats? It won't work without follow-through. Parents will undoubtedly have to take their children out of the service, lovingly correct them, and return to worship. Sometimes more than once. Bathroom breaks may occur. I am convinced all of the momentary issues parents have to work through makes them better parents and better children of God. "No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it." - Hebrews 12:11
Sitting in worship is a spiritual discipline children should acquire earlier rather than later in life. Spiritual disciplines aren't easy. Fasted lately, anyone? Teaching a child how to participate in corporate worship may not be pretty at first, but notice that last scripture applies here too. The first several times a child is in worship, it may not be enjoyable. Give it some time, and it may not only be enjoyable for you, the parent, but also for the child and those other church members surrounding him.
How pleasant it is to hear my three, five, and six year-olds sing along with the Chris Tomlin and Laura Story songs our choir sings, the Doxology we sing each week, and other hymns. My three-year-old walks around the house singing, "He will save you, He will save you, He will save you now." How awesome it is for my children to participate through passing the offering plate! How satisfying it is to help my daughter's find the scripture for the sermon, and guide my five-year-old's finger along as she learns to read God's word! This is the fruit of peace.
What do we get when children are delayed in coming to corporate worship? Tweens that haven't learned to potty before church (yes, I know there are emergencies even for adults), teenagers that haven't learned the sanctuary is a place consecrated for the purpose of worshipping God and need to learn to care for it, and young adults that still desire to be entertained rather than know how to be still before the Lord.
Still, you may be wondering, how do I do it? How can I possibly take my children into worship? In the next few days, I'll share the tips that have made it possible for me to sit alone in worship with three of my four children so far.
If you're already a parent, you're probably thinking No kidding.
My concern is that we often hand off that hard work to other people - i.e. grandparents, teachers, the church. When we do, we miss opportunities to share God's Word with our children ourselves, one of the greatest joys to be had in parenting.
As far as it goes with church, I'm not saying that children don't benefit greatly from having other adults serve as their teachers during Sunday School, missions education programs, or Vacation Bible School. My focus is on the Sunday morning corporate worship hour. Here are my arguments for children worshiping with the rest of the church body and not off in "children's church" or something similar. And before you read them, it might be helpful to know I'm talking about children three years of age and older.
Children need to hear their pastor's preaching. Most of my life, I've been part of churches which are small enough they've only supported one full time staff, the pastor, but I've also been a member of the largest Southern Baptist Church in the state of Kentucky with a very large staff, and also part of a church plant that met in a trailer, and it eventually supported a bi-vocational pastor. In every circumstance, I believe children need to hear their senior pastor preach.
The senior pastor's preaching is the uniting, teaching voice to the church. Lead by the Holy Spirit, the pastor studies and prepares to deliver sermons each week that will be edifying to the church body. The senior pastor is the shepherd of the local church body. He knows the needs of his congregation. He knows in which direction the church needs to be lead. Every member and future member of the church should be familiar with what the pastor teaches. A child can't truly say "this is what our church believes" if he's never heard his pastor preach.
The pastor also can't be more than a preacher if he doesn't regularly see his church body, even the littles. Most pastors stand at the door to greet the congregation at the end of each service and often at the beginning. Even the big 'ol church I was part of, the senior pastor did this. This is a time for handshakes and hugs, words of love. Kids need to be a part of this.
It encourages intergenerational bonding within the body of Christ. If our children don't get to know the adults of the church, how then are they to find Titus 2 men and women? On the other hand, most older adults are encouraged by seeing the coming generations learning to love God.
At this point, if you haven't already, you may be thinking about some snooty adults that don't want to be bothered by children in the worship service. They may say they're distracted. Your pastor may address this, but we do know that not everyone who attends church is saved. And even among Christians, we are all growing at different paces and to different levels in our Christian faith. Distraction can be a real issue when parents don't make attempts at dealing with minor behavior issues before they become big ones, but most of the time, distraction is a heart issue for the one being distracted.
It is a form of discipline for the parent. Yes, I mean that as a positive argument. Kids might make it hard to focus on the sermon for a season. They may test your patience. You may have to learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. Are you one that makes threats? It won't work without follow-through. Parents will undoubtedly have to take their children out of the service, lovingly correct them, and return to worship. Sometimes more than once. Bathroom breaks may occur. I am convinced all of the momentary issues parents have to work through makes them better parents and better children of God. "No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it." - Hebrews 12:11
Sitting in worship is a spiritual discipline children should acquire earlier rather than later in life. Spiritual disciplines aren't easy. Fasted lately, anyone? Teaching a child how to participate in corporate worship may not be pretty at first, but notice that last scripture applies here too. The first several times a child is in worship, it may not be enjoyable. Give it some time, and it may not only be enjoyable for you, the parent, but also for the child and those other church members surrounding him.
How pleasant it is to hear my three, five, and six year-olds sing along with the Chris Tomlin and Laura Story songs our choir sings, the Doxology we sing each week, and other hymns. My three-year-old walks around the house singing, "He will save you, He will save you, He will save you now." How awesome it is for my children to participate through passing the offering plate! How satisfying it is to help my daughter's find the scripture for the sermon, and guide my five-year-old's finger along as she learns to read God's word! This is the fruit of peace.
What do we get when children are delayed in coming to corporate worship? Tweens that haven't learned to potty before church (yes, I know there are emergencies even for adults), teenagers that haven't learned the sanctuary is a place consecrated for the purpose of worshipping God and need to learn to care for it, and young adults that still desire to be entertained rather than know how to be still before the Lord.
Still, you may be wondering, how do I do it? How can I possibly take my children into worship? In the next few days, I'll share the tips that have made it possible for me to sit alone in worship with three of my four children so far.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Bon Anniversaire, Dr. Seuss!
No matter what goes on with my daily household chores, however sparkly or grimy my abode may be, at the end of each day I can measure some success as a homemaker through a very important activity. Did I read to and with my children today? If I did, wonderful, even if the house suffered. If I didn't, but my home is spotless, I'm bound to feel like I missed out on one of the greatest ways to nurture my children.
Today is Dr. Seuss' birthday, which is what primarily has me thinking about reading with my children. But yesterday, my son gave me a bit of a pat on the back in this department. My husband stepped in to wash the dishes I had begun to work on (Yes, I find him quite hot!), when my son (20 months) walked into the kitchen wanting me. Taking me by the hand, he led me to the den, and finally to his corner of the room with a basket full of board books. He began to point and say "uh, uh" (not yet saying book too often). I told him I needed to do some other work first, but that I would read with him later. Walking back to the kitchen, he followed with a book and cried.
My husband commented, "Congratulations, Mommy, you've made our children readers. I never thought my son would ever cry to read a book." Success! Of course I read him the book.
In the hustle and bustle of all we have to do, it's nice to be reminded from time to time that the simplest of activities are usually the most loved and cherished by our children. So I also encourage you to end your days as mothers by asking yourselves two questions:
1) Did I teach my children of God's ways (both his just and his merciful ways) through the use of Scripture and prayer with them?
2) Did I read to my children, the smallest of infant his board book and the older child from a chapter book?
If so, I think you can give yourself a pat on the back!
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;" -Proverbs 1:7a
Today is Dr. Seuss' birthday, which is what primarily has me thinking about reading with my children. But yesterday, my son gave me a bit of a pat on the back in this department. My husband stepped in to wash the dishes I had begun to work on (Yes, I find him quite hot!), when my son (20 months) walked into the kitchen wanting me. Taking me by the hand, he led me to the den, and finally to his corner of the room with a basket full of board books. He began to point and say "uh, uh" (not yet saying book too often). I told him I needed to do some other work first, but that I would read with him later. Walking back to the kitchen, he followed with a book and cried.
My husband commented, "Congratulations, Mommy, you've made our children readers. I never thought my son would ever cry to read a book." Success! Of course I read him the book.
In the hustle and bustle of all we have to do, it's nice to be reminded from time to time that the simplest of activities are usually the most loved and cherished by our children. So I also encourage you to end your days as mothers by asking yourselves two questions:
1) Did I teach my children of God's ways (both his just and his merciful ways) through the use of Scripture and prayer with them?
2) Did I read to my children, the smallest of infant his board book and the older child from a chapter book?
If so, I think you can give yourself a pat on the back!
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;" -Proverbs 1:7a
Thursday, March 1, 2012
First Blogiversary!
Happy first blogiversary to Titus 2 Moments! Thank you to all who've read my thoughts! It has been so much fun to write here and to hear from those of you who've enjoyed reading!
We've been without internet access for the last three days, so I've felt very out of touch, and I've meant to post sooner, but this was my first chance. I hope to write again soon!
We've been without internet access for the last three days, so I've felt very out of touch, and I've meant to post sooner, but this was my first chance. I hope to write again soon!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My Personal Journey through Breastfeeding, Part 2
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all! Now back to my story... (and in case you missed the first part, here's the link.)
You'd think there'd be no issues the second time around because I knew what I was doing, but my baby #2 needed to learn how to latch too. In came the sugar water. I'm telling you, it's nearly a miracle cure in those first days.
My milk came in when she was four days old, the same day we decided to go home to see my grandfather before he passed away. That was physically and emotionally painful, but very much worth the effort. I was able to tell my grandfather goodbye in person.
Once my milk came in, I faced hyperlactation. Most every time I went to nurse my daughter, I sprayed her in the face, and she'd choke and gag. I learned to lay flat on my back, allowing her to nurse from above, before going to a regular nursing position. It enabled "Bug" to control the milk flow. It took a couple of months to get my supply adjusted. The problem with hyperlactation is that there's an imbalance of foremilk and hindmilk (the fattier portion).
Well worth all the work, we were also very mutally happy with breastfeeding. Again, I was pregnant before weaning my second daughter. I nursed for another five months before weaning her at twelve months. This was a more sad occasion for me because once I began the weaning process, Bug just up and decided she wouldn't nurse anymore once I had her down to just one feeding a day. This was unlike my first, who allowed us to have a picture of the final feeding. I can't even remember the final feeding with my second because she decided she didn't need it if I was only going to offer it once a day.
With my third child, something was up from the very beginning. She wouldn't latch well at the hospital, but I didn't stress because I knew it takes time. She seemed to prefer to lay on one side of her body, but I didn't know that meant anything in particular.
We were in the midst of packing to move when I brought her home from the hospital. My husband and I struggled at every feeding. Little Minute was such a wonderful baby, but she cried at every feeding. I took her to a lactation consultant pretty quickly, as there wasn't one at the hospital where she was born. I was so angry because the LC immediately put a bottle in her mouth! I had been working too hard for that! She gave me a nipple shield, which seemed to help for a couple of weeks.
Once we moved (my daughter was three weeks old), things were getting pretty hard. My daughter cried a good bit, but seemed pretty satisfied during meal times. I took her to a lactation consultant because she still wouldn't latch without the nipple shield. This LC weighed her, and my heart sunk to see that she weighed what she did at birth. The nipple shield doesn't allow enough stimulation of the nipple, so my milk supply was diminishing, and my baby wasn't thriving. It took a couple of visits, but the LC was able to determine that Little Minute had a slight case of torticolis, meaning one side of her neck had underdeveloped muscles. She couldn't pull the nipple enough to draw milk, and it also took her a very long time to take a bottle. I was able to take her to a physical therapist just once to learn the exercises she needed to correct her condition, but I always had to supplement this daughter with formula. My heart broke, but I was glad to live in a world where I could care for my daughter. If this had been a few hundred years ago, I imagine she could've died.
Oddly enough, even though this child had to be supplemented, my menstrual cycle didn't return until after she was weaned completely, so I actually made it an entire year without getting pregnant again!
Baby #4 is my only boy thus far, and he is also the only one who seemed to be born to nurse! There was never a need for sugar water because he always latched correctly from the beginning! I had prayed for this after my Little Minute had such difficulty. All during my pregnancy, I prayed God would make my boy a good eater, and He answered above and beyond what I ever expected. Had my son been my first child, I would've thought breastfeeding is so easy and not been able to understand why women give up before their babies have time to learn what they're doing.
That's not to say there weren't issues. I experienced thrush for the first time with my boy. Thrush is a very painful yeast infection that affects the nipples and usually, the inside of a baby's mouth. It's a pain to treat, but I can laugh about it a little now. Here's a pic of my purple-faced baby while we dealt with it.
Just as it was with all my babies, the hurdles were worth jumping as we nursed our way to a year.
I love breastfeeding, and I encourage it for the health of mom and baby. Breastmilk is exactly what God designed for human baby consumption. It is living with active cultures that contain healing properties. I've put it on cuts rather than putting on topical ointments. With my three children that were exclusively nursed, I've always lost more weight than I've put on during pregnancy because of the 500 calories a day that can be burnt through nursing. My breast cancer risk is greatly reduced. My children are bright and appropriately attached to me. I'm thankful God gave this gift of bonding between mother and child.
You'd think there'd be no issues the second time around because I knew what I was doing, but my baby #2 needed to learn how to latch too. In came the sugar water. I'm telling you, it's nearly a miracle cure in those first days.
My milk came in when she was four days old, the same day we decided to go home to see my grandfather before he passed away. That was physically and emotionally painful, but very much worth the effort. I was able to tell my grandfather goodbye in person.
Once my milk came in, I faced hyperlactation. Most every time I went to nurse my daughter, I sprayed her in the face, and she'd choke and gag. I learned to lay flat on my back, allowing her to nurse from above, before going to a regular nursing position. It enabled "Bug" to control the milk flow. It took a couple of months to get my supply adjusted. The problem with hyperlactation is that there's an imbalance of foremilk and hindmilk (the fattier portion).
Well worth all the work, we were also very mutally happy with breastfeeding. Again, I was pregnant before weaning my second daughter. I nursed for another five months before weaning her at twelve months. This was a more sad occasion for me because once I began the weaning process, Bug just up and decided she wouldn't nurse anymore once I had her down to just one feeding a day. This was unlike my first, who allowed us to have a picture of the final feeding. I can't even remember the final feeding with my second because she decided she didn't need it if I was only going to offer it once a day.
With my third child, something was up from the very beginning. She wouldn't latch well at the hospital, but I didn't stress because I knew it takes time. She seemed to prefer to lay on one side of her body, but I didn't know that meant anything in particular.
We were in the midst of packing to move when I brought her home from the hospital. My husband and I struggled at every feeding. Little Minute was such a wonderful baby, but she cried at every feeding. I took her to a lactation consultant pretty quickly, as there wasn't one at the hospital where she was born. I was so angry because the LC immediately put a bottle in her mouth! I had been working too hard for that! She gave me a nipple shield, which seemed to help for a couple of weeks.
Once we moved (my daughter was three weeks old), things were getting pretty hard. My daughter cried a good bit, but seemed pretty satisfied during meal times. I took her to a lactation consultant because she still wouldn't latch without the nipple shield. This LC weighed her, and my heart sunk to see that she weighed what she did at birth. The nipple shield doesn't allow enough stimulation of the nipple, so my milk supply was diminishing, and my baby wasn't thriving. It took a couple of visits, but the LC was able to determine that Little Minute had a slight case of torticolis, meaning one side of her neck had underdeveloped muscles. She couldn't pull the nipple enough to draw milk, and it also took her a very long time to take a bottle. I was able to take her to a physical therapist just once to learn the exercises she needed to correct her condition, but I always had to supplement this daughter with formula. My heart broke, but I was glad to live in a world where I could care for my daughter. If this had been a few hundred years ago, I imagine she could've died.
Oddly enough, even though this child had to be supplemented, my menstrual cycle didn't return until after she was weaned completely, so I actually made it an entire year without getting pregnant again!
Baby #4 is my only boy thus far, and he is also the only one who seemed to be born to nurse! There was never a need for sugar water because he always latched correctly from the beginning! I had prayed for this after my Little Minute had such difficulty. All during my pregnancy, I prayed God would make my boy a good eater, and He answered above and beyond what I ever expected. Had my son been my first child, I would've thought breastfeeding is so easy and not been able to understand why women give up before their babies have time to learn what they're doing.
That's not to say there weren't issues. I experienced thrush for the first time with my boy. Thrush is a very painful yeast infection that affects the nipples and usually, the inside of a baby's mouth. It's a pain to treat, but I can laugh about it a little now. Here's a pic of my purple-faced baby while we dealt with it.
Just as it was with all my babies, the hurdles were worth jumping as we nursed our way to a year.
I love breastfeeding, and I encourage it for the health of mom and baby. Breastmilk is exactly what God designed for human baby consumption. It is living with active cultures that contain healing properties. I've put it on cuts rather than putting on topical ointments. With my three children that were exclusively nursed, I've always lost more weight than I've put on during pregnancy because of the 500 calories a day that can be burnt through nursing. My breast cancer risk is greatly reduced. My children are bright and appropriately attached to me. I'm thankful God gave this gift of bonding between mother and child.
Monday, February 13, 2012
My Personal Journey through Breastfeeding, Part 1
Finally, it seems I have time to write once again! A few weeks ago, I mentioned I'd like to share my breastfeeding experiences for those of you that it may benefit. Again, if this is a touchy subject for you, and it may hurt our fellowship, don't read the rest of this post, but do tune in another day!
I'll also start by throwing out the disclaimer that this truly is just my personal journey, and I am no professional medically trained person. I have studied tons of articles and books both for my personal understanding and for work, but I'm only a support person to breastfeeding moms, not a lactation consultant. If you face any difficulties in breastfeeding, I would highly recommend that you talk to friends that have been there, but if you continue to face problems, please seek the help of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Whatever you do, don't give up!
My personal journey through breastfeeding begins at my birth! If I understand correctly, my mother nursed me for the first week to ten days of my life. After that, my grandmother went home, and my mom felt like she probably didn't eat well enough to make "good" milk. Knowing what I do now, even malnourished moms can make good milk for their babies, though our bodies will rob us to take care of the babies we feed. Still, this was excellent for my mom to give me the best for the first days of my life. Even colostrum, the first milk, is filled with tons of antibodies! After that, I saw my mom nurse my brother five years later, again for a few weeks.
I thought nothing of breastfeeding again until I was pregnant with my first child. At the time, the American Academy of Pediatrics was saying exclusive breastfeeding was best for babies through the first six months of life, and that it was still the best with the addition of solids up through twelve months. I think even "or as long as is mutually desired" was part of their position. For me, my decision to breastfeed was then a no-brainer. Why wouldn't I do what was determined to be the best for my child?
Such an easy decision to make, but I had no idea I would have some snags along the way, and that it would be difficult at times to reach my goal of one year. Praise God, I had friends pregnant before me. I watched as one of my friends learned to nurse her first child. She encountered hyperlactation (over production of milk) and thrush in her son's early weeks. It made me realize I had a lot to learn, so to a class at Babies-r-Us I went, and I got several videos from the library.
Here's a funny confession: The women and babies in the videos grossed me out. To be such an advocate for breastfeeding now, at one point it did bother me! Seeing my friends nurse, however, didn't bother me in the least. I could see very clearly how God had created women so perfectly for nurturing young life. Another odd thing about those videos: all of the babies latch perfectly every. single. time.
Along comes baby #1 on July 1, 2005. If you've already read her birth story, you know she latched perfectly the first time within half an hour of her birth. Her second feeding "had" to be a bottle of formula because I was in surgery. Truly, if a breastfeeding advocate had been watching out in the middle of the night, she would've made sure Princess M had received that feeding through a tube or a syringe.
All of the next few days, we spent our time trying to get my baby to latch. She actually did fairly well, and of course, perfectly every time the lactation consultant in the hospital was around. I was taught by her that I could put a little sugar water on my nipples to give Princess M some instant gratification because colostrum, being so thick, is often difficult to drain from the breasts. Sometimes, babies will try to latch, then get aggrivated that something's not there fast enough. I've done this with my friends many times, and it totally does the trick!
It took a solid week for my milk to come in due to the spinal I had for surgery. Diapers were good and weight gain was up at the week mark despite the long wait for milk.
Princess M was a sleepy baby at times, and it seemed to take a circus to keep her awake for a full feeding. At night time, this was a challenge. If I fell asleep, I'd have no idea how long she'd eaten. I'd decide to go ahead and lay her back down, only to be back up in thirty minutes because she didn't get a full feeding after all. I learned to stay awake by reading. In the daytime, I'd read out loud to my daughter. At night, I'd read silently. I devoured every magazine and book I could get my hands on. My husband was in seminary at the time, and I read his textbooks. I've often wondered if my oldest daughter is so smart because of this and obviously, she was getting breastmilk for brain development!
I tried to pump with two manual pumps, one I'd bought, and the other came from the health department. They both seemed to be duds, and I was getting really frustrated that once my daughter was four weeks old, we were going out of town, and I felt she needed some bottles expressed for her. I couldn't get anything from a manual pump! My husband saw my tears, and he decided we'd buy something for the first time with a credit card: an electric breast pump! That $250 was worth it! I've used it with all four of my babies.
The day before we were set to take our daughter home to South Carolina, I began to run a fever, feel achy, and have red streaks on my breasts: mastitis. My doctor was good to me, not forcing me to come in to see him, but going with my description of my symptoms, he called an antibiotic in for me.
Despite every hurdle, my daughter and I kept the nursing going, and by six or seven weeks, were really mutually happy with the whole deal. She was always in the 75th-85th percentile for height and weight. She was always very healthy, never running a fever until after she was weaned!
When my oldest daughter was seven months old, I became pregnant with my second daughter. I continued to nurse my first child for five more months. Weaning was a little sad, but knowing I had another one coming made it easier for me...
Part 2 tomorrow - all three of the other babies in one more blog entry!
I'll also start by throwing out the disclaimer that this truly is just my personal journey, and I am no professional medically trained person. I have studied tons of articles and books both for my personal understanding and for work, but I'm only a support person to breastfeeding moms, not a lactation consultant. If you face any difficulties in breastfeeding, I would highly recommend that you talk to friends that have been there, but if you continue to face problems, please seek the help of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Whatever you do, don't give up!
My personal journey through breastfeeding begins at my birth! If I understand correctly, my mother nursed me for the first week to ten days of my life. After that, my grandmother went home, and my mom felt like she probably didn't eat well enough to make "good" milk. Knowing what I do now, even malnourished moms can make good milk for their babies, though our bodies will rob us to take care of the babies we feed. Still, this was excellent for my mom to give me the best for the first days of my life. Even colostrum, the first milk, is filled with tons of antibodies! After that, I saw my mom nurse my brother five years later, again for a few weeks.
I thought nothing of breastfeeding again until I was pregnant with my first child. At the time, the American Academy of Pediatrics was saying exclusive breastfeeding was best for babies through the first six months of life, and that it was still the best with the addition of solids up through twelve months. I think even "or as long as is mutually desired" was part of their position. For me, my decision to breastfeed was then a no-brainer. Why wouldn't I do what was determined to be the best for my child?
Such an easy decision to make, but I had no idea I would have some snags along the way, and that it would be difficult at times to reach my goal of one year. Praise God, I had friends pregnant before me. I watched as one of my friends learned to nurse her first child. She encountered hyperlactation (over production of milk) and thrush in her son's early weeks. It made me realize I had a lot to learn, so to a class at Babies-r-Us I went, and I got several videos from the library.
Here's a funny confession: The women and babies in the videos grossed me out. To be such an advocate for breastfeeding now, at one point it did bother me! Seeing my friends nurse, however, didn't bother me in the least. I could see very clearly how God had created women so perfectly for nurturing young life. Another odd thing about those videos: all of the babies latch perfectly every. single. time.
Along comes baby #1 on July 1, 2005. If you've already read her birth story, you know she latched perfectly the first time within half an hour of her birth. Her second feeding "had" to be a bottle of formula because I was in surgery. Truly, if a breastfeeding advocate had been watching out in the middle of the night, she would've made sure Princess M had received that feeding through a tube or a syringe.
All of the next few days, we spent our time trying to get my baby to latch. She actually did fairly well, and of course, perfectly every time the lactation consultant in the hospital was around. I was taught by her that I could put a little sugar water on my nipples to give Princess M some instant gratification because colostrum, being so thick, is often difficult to drain from the breasts. Sometimes, babies will try to latch, then get aggrivated that something's not there fast enough. I've done this with my friends many times, and it totally does the trick!
It took a solid week for my milk to come in due to the spinal I had for surgery. Diapers were good and weight gain was up at the week mark despite the long wait for milk.
Princess M was a sleepy baby at times, and it seemed to take a circus to keep her awake for a full feeding. At night time, this was a challenge. If I fell asleep, I'd have no idea how long she'd eaten. I'd decide to go ahead and lay her back down, only to be back up in thirty minutes because she didn't get a full feeding after all. I learned to stay awake by reading. In the daytime, I'd read out loud to my daughter. At night, I'd read silently. I devoured every magazine and book I could get my hands on. My husband was in seminary at the time, and I read his textbooks. I've often wondered if my oldest daughter is so smart because of this and obviously, she was getting breastmilk for brain development!
I tried to pump with two manual pumps, one I'd bought, and the other came from the health department. They both seemed to be duds, and I was getting really frustrated that once my daughter was four weeks old, we were going out of town, and I felt she needed some bottles expressed for her. I couldn't get anything from a manual pump! My husband saw my tears, and he decided we'd buy something for the first time with a credit card: an electric breast pump! That $250 was worth it! I've used it with all four of my babies.
The day before we were set to take our daughter home to South Carolina, I began to run a fever, feel achy, and have red streaks on my breasts: mastitis. My doctor was good to me, not forcing me to come in to see him, but going with my description of my symptoms, he called an antibiotic in for me.
Despite every hurdle, my daughter and I kept the nursing going, and by six or seven weeks, were really mutually happy with the whole deal. She was always in the 75th-85th percentile for height and weight. She was always very healthy, never running a fever until after she was weaned!
When my oldest daughter was seven months old, I became pregnant with my second daughter. I continued to nurse my first child for five more months. Weaning was a little sad, but knowing I had another one coming made it easier for me...
Part 2 tomorrow - all three of the other babies in one more blog entry!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Birth Story
I failed to mention one little detail in my last post. Financially, it also occurred to me that we wouldn't have to pay the anesthesiologist if I didn't have to see him for an epidural. We figured that meant we'd save around $1,000. To bad I didn't know I would end up seeing him after all, just not for the epidural...
For three weeks prior to my daughter's birth, I was 1 cm dilated. My due date was June 27th. At what I expected to be my last visit with my OB, he said I was effaced, and he didn't expect to see me the next week at his office, that he'd be highly surprised if I didn't go into labor that weekend. My husband was church planting at the time, and he had to travel every weekend to the other side of the state. As naive first-timers, he called the leadership of the new church to let them know he wouldn't be coming because I would surely be in the hospital.
No baby by Friday. So we walked...and walked...and walked. I was certain my feet couldn't handle any more by Sunday evening. No baby Monday morning. On Tuesday, June 27, to the OB I went. He was surprised, and began talking induction possibilities.
Now "going naturally" to the vast majority of the "natural" community means completely allowing your body to do its own thing. I think that's wonderful. Maybe one day I'll be able to do it, but there was there are two factors that have led us to induce every time my body hasn't done its own thing the way we expect. First, we don't live near family. In order to have the help a new mom needs, we really kind of have to plan when family needs to come, and none of the grandparents are retired yet, so work schedules also have to be considered. My parents really needed to go ahead and come if they were coming. Second, my husband's in ministry. At that time, he'd already taken one weekend off. He could take off the coming weekend, and we could for sure have a baby, allowing him to go back the next week without missing a thing.
Many doctors will tell you pitocin makes labor harder, and many moms that plan to go without pain medication give in because of it. For my fourth child, I was only the second woman my doctor had ever seen go without meds with the use of pitocin. This is not me bragging, but it's part of the story. I felt I could still go ahead and try not to use meds because I'd never had a child anyway. What difference did I know? Also, with induction, the baby's heart rate has to constantly be monitored, so there's no getting out of bed, so traditional methods of pain relief, like walking, or changing positions isn't allowed in most hospitals.
June 30, my dad's birthday, my parents arrive in town. I fix him zucchini bread, place a few candles on it, and we celebrate hoping the baby will come before the induction scheduled the next day.
July 1, we wake up bright and early. Surprise, surprise, still no baby. Pitocin, here we come. The IV was in and running by 8:00 am. Those first several hours were easy. I visited on the phone with my in-laws as they traveled to Kentucky to see us. I visited with my parents in the delivery room while my husband went to get his lunch, thankfully not eating it in front of me. By noon, I needed to begin to use my Lamaze breathing. I think I was at 4 cm. By 12:30, it was time to send my parents out to the waiting room.
It's totally a personal choice, but for me, I just wanted my husband, my doctor, and the nurses in the room with me. Some people have a whole party, but for us, this was the start of our family, deeply intimate.
My husband was a great coach, even though this was our first go round. Coach and laborer communication improves with each child. Still, with #1, he massaged my back and was a constant encouragement. He helped me count my breaths. He was going to help me with my focal point, but I ended up closing my eyes with each contraction.
I moved too much. Never able to get comfortable, the monitor on my tummy kept losing Princess M's heart beat. The nurse had to insert a monitor into the top of her little head.
Around 4:00 pm, I'd figure, I was at 5 or 6, and I was beginning to question if I could actually do this without pain meds after all. My husband gently reminded me of my goal without forcing me at all.
A couple of hours later, I was moving into transition labor (7-8 cm), and I was now praying constantly, but especially during now very strong contractions. This was the time that was so good for me spiritually. Without pain meds, I was totally feeling my need for dependence on God to bring me through labor. Knowing that pain in childbearing is a result of the fall, because of sin, I knew I deserved this pain, but praised God for His goodness through all things. I can't adequately express how special it was to experience this.
When I was checked and found to be at 9 cm, I actually began to feel the need to push, so my doctor let me. Five minutes later, at 8:03 pm, Princess M had arrived! She didn't cry, just looked around. My first words after she was laid on my stomach, "You're so big!" to which my doctor replied, "Really?" - later to find out she was 7#5oz. I had only been 5#6oz, so she was big to me. My husband and I cried. After I was able to hold her for a few minutes, we watched as they took her across the room for her measurements and to clean her a little. We were so tickled to see her still not crying, just looking with these huge eyes at us as she took in her new surroundings.
I was able to nurse her for the first time very quickly after. Of course, everything went so well because for the time being, she was very alert.
I still hurt very badly at 9:30 or so when they took me to my room. I called my friend I talked about Saturday. Was I supposed to still be hurting? She told me it'd pass once I got some rest.
By 10:00 my husband and I were doing our best to settled down and sleep. By 10:30, I was having contractions again and needing to do my Lamaze breathing. That couldn't possibly be right, and it concerned my husband enough not to bother with using the call button, but for him to go get a nurse himself.
My nurse thought I must need to empty my bladder, but when she tried to get me out of bed, I just couldn't bear the pain. She laid me back down and massaged my tummy. I passed a blood clot the size of the placenta. I immediately felt much better and thanked her profusely. But the moment of relief I felt was a moment of major concern for the nurse because she pressed the call button and yelled that she needed help fast.
By the time her help arrived, I was in pain again. The two ladies determined I was bleeding internally, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. The doctor on call was on his way. I wasn't conscious for all that came next. I'd waken for a moment, have a wave of pain, and pass out again. Sometimes, I'd hear my husband saying, "Lauren, stay with me." The doctor actually liked me sleeping though, because when I'd have those waves of pain, I moved my legs too much for him to work on me.
As it turned out, as my daughter made her exit, she torn an artery on my vaginal wall. I bled internally back into my womb, so there was no way for my doctor to see that anything had gone wrong until I began to have contractions from the blood filling my uterus.
I remember thinking, Man, by the time this is taken care of, it'll be time to feed the baby again. Eventually, they brought papers for my husband to sign to allow me to be given donor blood. Once that was done, I was taken to surgery.
Here's where it got very serious for my husband, but funny for me. The loss of blood was keeping me from understanding how serious a situation was going on. He, meanwhile, was hitting his knees outside the elevator doors praying for God to keep me alive, then calling our parents to let them know they needed to come back to the hospital immediately.
So the funny side: When the anesthesiologist arrived outside the surgical room, he explained that he would need to give me a spinal block so I wouldn't feel the pain while they did surgery to correct the tear. I had lost too much blood for them to put me to sleep. He told me he'd be with me throughout the procedure, and for me not to worry because I wouldn't be able to move. I laughed, and told me him a few hours ago I had thought I was too good for him. He laughed out loud too!
I also flipped out because I didn't want them to cut my wedding band and engagement ring off. They calmly put tape on them and reassured me they'd do no such thing.
I passed out, but I awoke in surgery, tilted nearly on my head. I tried to move my feet but to no avail. I looked around at all the people in surgical masks. I found the anesthesiologist, and told him about not being able to move my feet. He replied, "Remember, I explained that to you a few minutes ago." Nope, I didn't remember, but went back to sleep.
When all was said and done, I received three units of blood. I was taken back to my room to find all my loved ones waiting, including baby girl, who was being given (gasp!) a bottle by her dad. She was having to wait too long on me to feed her.
All was well. God delivered me. And we took Princess M home on Independence Day, with my hemoglobin at seven. My doctor assured me that it was a rare thing what I went through, and that I could have all the babies I wanted. Praise God!
For three weeks prior to my daughter's birth, I was 1 cm dilated. My due date was June 27th. At what I expected to be my last visit with my OB, he said I was effaced, and he didn't expect to see me the next week at his office, that he'd be highly surprised if I didn't go into labor that weekend. My husband was church planting at the time, and he had to travel every weekend to the other side of the state. As naive first-timers, he called the leadership of the new church to let them know he wouldn't be coming because I would surely be in the hospital.
No baby by Friday. So we walked...and walked...and walked. I was certain my feet couldn't handle any more by Sunday evening. No baby Monday morning. On Tuesday, June 27, to the OB I went. He was surprised, and began talking induction possibilities.
Now "going naturally" to the vast majority of the "natural" community means completely allowing your body to do its own thing. I think that's wonderful. Maybe one day I'll be able to do it, but there was there are two factors that have led us to induce every time my body hasn't done its own thing the way we expect. First, we don't live near family. In order to have the help a new mom needs, we really kind of have to plan when family needs to come, and none of the grandparents are retired yet, so work schedules also have to be considered. My parents really needed to go ahead and come if they were coming. Second, my husband's in ministry. At that time, he'd already taken one weekend off. He could take off the coming weekend, and we could for sure have a baby, allowing him to go back the next week without missing a thing.
Many doctors will tell you pitocin makes labor harder, and many moms that plan to go without pain medication give in because of it. For my fourth child, I was only the second woman my doctor had ever seen go without meds with the use of pitocin. This is not me bragging, but it's part of the story. I felt I could still go ahead and try not to use meds because I'd never had a child anyway. What difference did I know? Also, with induction, the baby's heart rate has to constantly be monitored, so there's no getting out of bed, so traditional methods of pain relief, like walking, or changing positions isn't allowed in most hospitals.
June 30, my dad's birthday, my parents arrive in town. I fix him zucchini bread, place a few candles on it, and we celebrate hoping the baby will come before the induction scheduled the next day.
July 1, we wake up bright and early. Surprise, surprise, still no baby. Pitocin, here we come. The IV was in and running by 8:00 am. Those first several hours were easy. I visited on the phone with my in-laws as they traveled to Kentucky to see us. I visited with my parents in the delivery room while my husband went to get his lunch, thankfully not eating it in front of me. By noon, I needed to begin to use my Lamaze breathing. I think I was at 4 cm. By 12:30, it was time to send my parents out to the waiting room.
It's totally a personal choice, but for me, I just wanted my husband, my doctor, and the nurses in the room with me. Some people have a whole party, but for us, this was the start of our family, deeply intimate.
My husband was a great coach, even though this was our first go round. Coach and laborer communication improves with each child. Still, with #1, he massaged my back and was a constant encouragement. He helped me count my breaths. He was going to help me with my focal point, but I ended up closing my eyes with each contraction.
I moved too much. Never able to get comfortable, the monitor on my tummy kept losing Princess M's heart beat. The nurse had to insert a monitor into the top of her little head.
Around 4:00 pm, I'd figure, I was at 5 or 6, and I was beginning to question if I could actually do this without pain meds after all. My husband gently reminded me of my goal without forcing me at all.
A couple of hours later, I was moving into transition labor (7-8 cm), and I was now praying constantly, but especially during now very strong contractions. This was the time that was so good for me spiritually. Without pain meds, I was totally feeling my need for dependence on God to bring me through labor. Knowing that pain in childbearing is a result of the fall, because of sin, I knew I deserved this pain, but praised God for His goodness through all things. I can't adequately express how special it was to experience this.
When I was checked and found to be at 9 cm, I actually began to feel the need to push, so my doctor let me. Five minutes later, at 8:03 pm, Princess M had arrived! She didn't cry, just looked around. My first words after she was laid on my stomach, "You're so big!" to which my doctor replied, "Really?" - later to find out she was 7#5oz. I had only been 5#6oz, so she was big to me. My husband and I cried. After I was able to hold her for a few minutes, we watched as they took her across the room for her measurements and to clean her a little. We were so tickled to see her still not crying, just looking with these huge eyes at us as she took in her new surroundings.
I was able to nurse her for the first time very quickly after. Of course, everything went so well because for the time being, she was very alert.
I still hurt very badly at 9:30 or so when they took me to my room. I called my friend I talked about Saturday. Was I supposed to still be hurting? She told me it'd pass once I got some rest.
By 10:00 my husband and I were doing our best to settled down and sleep. By 10:30, I was having contractions again and needing to do my Lamaze breathing. That couldn't possibly be right, and it concerned my husband enough not to bother with using the call button, but for him to go get a nurse himself.
My nurse thought I must need to empty my bladder, but when she tried to get me out of bed, I just couldn't bear the pain. She laid me back down and massaged my tummy. I passed a blood clot the size of the placenta. I immediately felt much better and thanked her profusely. But the moment of relief I felt was a moment of major concern for the nurse because she pressed the call button and yelled that she needed help fast.
By the time her help arrived, I was in pain again. The two ladies determined I was bleeding internally, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. The doctor on call was on his way. I wasn't conscious for all that came next. I'd waken for a moment, have a wave of pain, and pass out again. Sometimes, I'd hear my husband saying, "Lauren, stay with me." The doctor actually liked me sleeping though, because when I'd have those waves of pain, I moved my legs too much for him to work on me.
As it turned out, as my daughter made her exit, she torn an artery on my vaginal wall. I bled internally back into my womb, so there was no way for my doctor to see that anything had gone wrong until I began to have contractions from the blood filling my uterus.
I remember thinking, Man, by the time this is taken care of, it'll be time to feed the baby again. Eventually, they brought papers for my husband to sign to allow me to be given donor blood. Once that was done, I was taken to surgery.
Here's where it got very serious for my husband, but funny for me. The loss of blood was keeping me from understanding how serious a situation was going on. He, meanwhile, was hitting his knees outside the elevator doors praying for God to keep me alive, then calling our parents to let them know they needed to come back to the hospital immediately.
So the funny side: When the anesthesiologist arrived outside the surgical room, he explained that he would need to give me a spinal block so I wouldn't feel the pain while they did surgery to correct the tear. I had lost too much blood for them to put me to sleep. He told me he'd be with me throughout the procedure, and for me not to worry because I wouldn't be able to move. I laughed, and told me him a few hours ago I had thought I was too good for him. He laughed out loud too!
I also flipped out because I didn't want them to cut my wedding band and engagement ring off. They calmly put tape on them and reassured me they'd do no such thing.
I passed out, but I awoke in surgery, tilted nearly on my head. I tried to move my feet but to no avail. I looked around at all the people in surgical masks. I found the anesthesiologist, and told him about not being able to move my feet. He replied, "Remember, I explained that to you a few minutes ago." Nope, I didn't remember, but went back to sleep.
When all was said and done, I received three units of blood. I was taken back to my room to find all my loved ones waiting, including baby girl, who was being given (gasp!) a bottle by her dad. She was having to wait too long on me to feed her.
All was well. God delivered me. And we took Princess M home on Independence Day, with my hemoglobin at seven. My doctor assured me that it was a rare thing what I went through, and that I could have all the babies I wanted. Praise God!
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