One of my friends, Amanda, hosts our church's youth girls to her home every week throughout the summer for fellowship, kitchen training, and for an older woman to come teach them on any number of topics. This week was my turn, and we met at a different friend's home, and I thought I'd share what God laid on my heart to teach them.
I asked the girls what they want to be when they grow up, with graduation from high school just around the bend. I remember as a very small girl, still in Mission Friends, that I wanted to be a nurse. I don't know why, but by the end of middle school, I wanted to be an occupational therapist because I wanted to help people who'd been injured in some way to regain their life skills through the use of dance and art. That summer, I began volunteering at one of our local hospitals, something I would continue to do the next three summers. While I loved being a youth volunteer, I quickly discovered, that being a nurse was out for me because I couldn't believe the hours the nurses in the hospital worked. By that fall, I knew for sure even occupational therapy was out because I'm not gifted in science.
I failed to share this, but I decided to become a teacher because I was in our high school's Teacher Cadet program. As part of the class, I went every week to help one of my former primary school teachers. Standing in front of the empty classroom, waiting for my teacher and her class to return, I just knew this is where God wanted me to be, at least for a season. It was actually while studying childhood development in college, that I made the decision to stay home with my children, something my future husband also wanted.
After sharing about childhood dreams, I turned to Scripture. First, the Scripture that is the basis for this blog:
In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, good homemakers, and submissive to their husbands, so that God's message will not be slandered. -Titus 2:3-5
We also read about the Proverbs 31 woman, paying special attention to verse 27, "She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle."
I have been so happy to see many of our youth girls make efforts to embrace femininity in the ways they dress for worship, wearing dresses, and I had heard that on the mission trip, they were good at serving the men who were working. So now, I wanted to continue to encourage them to embrace femininity as they graduate, possibly go to college, take on careers, and/or marry. I wanted these scriptures to serve as a basis for our understanding of what God wants a woman to be in her life.
A little side note here, I realize not everyone will marry, but most will, and if you don't, you're still called to be life-nurturers, even when you don't physically bear children. Single women or infertile women are often some of the most helpful to women dealing with the rigors of daily caring for children. They can be of great help loving on our children in a number of ways through babysitting and Sunday School teaching, just for a couple of examples!
I went on to give the girls a quick lesson in our roles from the beginning of time. Genesis 1:27, we find that God created both man and woman in His image and are both accountable to him. BUT, Adam had the huge responsibility of being the first-born and was given authority and jobs to accomplish. Woman was created with physical differences that made her suitable to be a helper. I learned from Mary Kassian that the only other time the word for helper is used in Scripture is describing God as our Helper. This is a huge compliment, not a secondary-type-citizen role!
Then, the FALL came. Adam failed to intervene, so he born responsibility for sin first. And one of the consequences, along with the pain of childbearing, is that woman would "desire" her husband, meaning she would want to overpower and manipulate him. Even little girls figure out ways early on to sweetly manipulate their daddies. The sinful idea of "Girl Power" comes from this desire. Ever since then, women have seemed to struggle with their role. In modern times, we see women struggle to both have careers and be good mothers. Even women who have decided to be at home often label themselves as "just a housewife".
However, if we remind ourselves of those first Scriptures, obviously God has an interest in women caring for their homes and families. We can embrace what God created us to be and find joy in it rather than drudgery.
I'm not saying all women must be at home, though if I didn't think it best, I wouldn't be doing it myself. I do think it wise to at least consider careers that are helpful to the family. As young women, if you desire to study further after high school, perhaps you can choose something that can also help you in your God-given role as wife and mom. I know my education degree has helped me more with my own children than it did in those two years I taught school. I think cosmetology is an awesome field. One of our church members was able to be at home while earning an income by having her shop in her home. While we were in seminary, I knew several nurses who were able to work just one day a week and still keep their families' insurance coverage.
The reason I was drawn to teach on this topic is because I see far too many women delaying marriage and delaying children so long that they sometimes miss the blessings God has in store for them. They may delay marriage because of a career. They may delay children because they see them as hindrances. Our best opportunity for discipleship comes through parenting. Paul did say to remain as he was (single) because singleness makes folks more free to ministry, but it's also better to marry than to burn (1 Corinthians 7:9). So marry, but then don't delay having children too long because the "children are an heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward" (Psalm 127:3). We need to value children rather than see them as hindrances.
My final thought is that young women should seek the Lord's will for the work He has for them to do throughout their lives and in all the seasons, to reexamine their motives for whatever work they may be doing. Money, a comfortable lifestyle, the fact that being at home is hard work, whatever - none of that matters in comparison to what God deems as important.
It's the time of year for "hot fun in the summertime": swimming in or lounging by the pool, boating on the river, and going to the beach. I love this time of year because I love to be in the water. When I'm pregnant (not now), it is so nice to float weightless, and always this time of year, it's just plain refreshing to get out of the heat and cool off a little. At the beach or the river, our family enjoys God's creation, the beauty of the marshes and the awesome wonders of the ocean.
Head to most any beach or public pool, and you will see many, if not most, girls in bikinis. I can't imagine letting my little ones run around in nothing more than their underwear covers in front of strangers, though I know it is the norm. Most modest women reading this are in full agreement with me at this point, but...
I'm not saying we should do away with bikinis. I own and wear several bikini sets myself. GASP! What is the preacher's wife saying?
When modest women dress, they not only need to consider that they're representing God, but they need to dress for their husbands. If you've got a private backyard or a boat that takes you to a quiet place, your husband may be happy to see you in a bikini and erase any mental images he may have of other women. If you go on a vacation, don't be afraid to pull out a bikini (or strapless maxi dress) to whoo your husbands, who were designed by God as visually stimulated creatures. Keep the spark of your marriage alive as you dress for your husbands!
Last week, my husband preached his maternal grandfather's funeral. It was a great honor to him, to be able to reflect on his father's life publicly and to share the gospel with those who need the Lord.
I was unable to attend either of my grandparents' funerals. I took a toddler and four-day-old baby (along with the aide of my husband and mother-in-law) on a six hour journey to see my grandfather just before his death. Upon our return home, literally just after walking through the door, I received the phone call that he had passed away. Grateful to have seen him and had a good conversation telling him about his new great-granddaughter, I didn't want to put my family through the torture of traveling again for his funeral. When my grandmother passed away, I again had a newborn, less than a week old. Then, with three children, my husband made the journey alone to help preach her funeral.
Reflecting on these times anew because of our recent "loss" and the gracious love poured out on us, I was reminded of all the good things we can do to show love during times of bereavement. I have to admit that I had grown a little callous in the way I've handled preparing meals for those in their sorrow. I needed the reminder of what a ministry it can be to do these simple tasks.
It is incredibly helpful to prepare meals for those going through the loss of a loved one. When I came home after seeing my grandad, a church member brought our family a meal and a simple Christmas wreath for my door (it was December). After the long journey, it was nice to just be able to sit down at mealtime. Again, this time, it was so nice to not have to think about getting meals together. At least two churches and some coworkers of folks in the family brought meals. We didn't have to worry about lunch or dinner. Some great friends (a brother and sister in Christ) even brought breakfast to us one morning. I hope to not forget this blessing in the future.
Attending a funeral is an especially touching gesture. One of the ways the pain of a loss is softened is by seeing loved ones. The impromptu family reunions that come about through funerals is a bittersweet blessing. Older folks are much more inclined to attend funerals, and I suppose it is because more of them are free to do so because of retirement, but when younger folks can be free, it is so nice. I was especially touched by one of my husband's cousins (on the other side of the family), her husband, and baby attending the funeral. I knew it took effort, but I felt such love from them for my mother-in-law. It was worth it.
Providing childcare is a big help! My oldest daughter (almost seven) wanted to stand in the receiving line prior to the funeral, and it was great to see her be so ladylike. On the other hand, there's no way my youngest two, especially, would've made it through that or the funeral. Praise God for some friends of the family we knew could be trusted to care for our children (mine and my sister-in-law's) for a couple of hours.
Hopefully, going through this time will help me to minister better in the future!
Mother's Day 2012 may go down in history as my favorite of all time. "G Bug", my middle daughter, was baptized! She had made her public profession of faith in Jesus as her Savior two weeks before. Ever since her sister was baptized on Father's Day last year, she has had many questions about salvation. Having always struggled with her behavior more than her older sister, she totally understood depravity and the "blackness" of sin. She knew Jesus was needed to clean it all up, and she came to us (her parents) wanting to have a final talk about making Jesus the Lord of her life.
G Bug just received her first "real" Bible for Christmas this past year. When we've given our oldest two their Bibles as gifts, my thoughts and prayers have always been that our children could become Christians through reading them. God has answered those prayers!
Bible selection wasn't easy. I asked several friends, but many of them (being in the same stage of life as myself) didn't really know what Bible choice was best either. Now that I've been through this with my husband and been happy with our choices, I thought I'd share how we arrived at them.
First, Scriptural wording isn't a foreign language in our home. Most mornings, we read from God's word, and for that family time, we often choose to read the Holman Christian Standard because of the literal translation from the original Hebrew and Greek texts and for the easy-to-understand, modern wording. I'm not saying this is the translation your family should use. As my husband often says, the best translation is the one you read. I'm just sharing why we have chosen it for our family. We also read a children's Bible storybook at bedtime. These are obviously condensed versions of the stories we know well from God's Word.
Secondly, we considered the translation my husband uses to preach. What does your pastor use? This is helpful to consider because beginning readers need all the help they can get to follow along during worship services.
When my oldest daughter was just beginning to read, and before we bought her Bible, she carried a children's devotional Bible to church, which mainly had pictures and sections of Scripture throughout the book. She commented to her dad one Sunday that the words he preached weren't in her Bible! Being a very biblical, expository preacher, that didn't sit well! We knew she needed the translation he preaches from, which for full disclosure is usually the New King James Version. Occasionally, he may use another translation, but most of the time, our daughters can follow along when he preaches because they have a Bible with all of the same words.
When our girls were baptized, they were given a copy of God's Word from their church, and this was the Holman Christian Standard version. This is what they study from during their quiet times and what they memorize. So finally, we have them using a translation that is easy to understand but that has not departed from the original intent of the authors God inspired to write. This means they have one Bible for church and one for home use, but it works for us.
I'm not saying that our way is the only way to choose a Bible for a child, but considering all of this really helped us to feel like we were making wise decisions. Maybe it may help you as well!
If you're a part of most any evangelical Christian church in the US, your church is most likely holding a Vacation Bible School this summer. I LOVE VBS! I think this is because I had an awesome VBS director in Mrs. Jean, but the entire church I attended growing up was involved in this very important week every year. We held the training for our association at our church, so many months before the actual event, we were preparing decorations and dance moves (before the SBC hired someone to come up with them) to go along with the theme song, created skits, and most importantly, prayed for the training and our VBS.
I've felt kind of behind with my preparations for VBS this year because I've had a few other distractions this year. I had taken on the part-time, very flexible, breastfeeding peer counselor position. I very much enjoyed getting to work with moms, but I stepped into an alternate position so I wouldn't have to go into the office every week, so now I feel better about it. The other distraction was the decision my husband and I made to begin homeschooling this fall. I was cross-eyed for several weeks making curriculum decisions, comparing prices, and finally putting in my orders, along with planning my schedule for the year.
Being pleased with my progress there, I turn my eyes fully toward VBS and the birthday party planning for three of my four kids. June and July is crazy around here, y'all!
While I had helped decorate for years and had helped in crafts some on a mission trip, when it came time for me to teach my own class for the first time I was a little overwhelmed at the thought. While I was a summer missionary, the team I worked with helped several churches with VBS. My role during that time had always been to be a clown. I didn't have the responsibility of teaching a class. Yep, the clown part you read right. I was Sugar the clown for about eight years. Anywho, the first class I was given to teach when I was twenty and on a break from summer classes in college, was the fifth and sixth grade boys. I don't know that anyone else wanted them, but they were a joy!
Since that first time of teaching VBS, I've learned a few things, and I thought I'd share for anyone else who may be in the VBS preparation trenches right about now.
Go to your association or state VBS training if offered. Ok, it's a little too late for this first suggestion, but make plans for next year. Yes, it may cost you a Saturday morning and $10, but it helps. If you struggle with decorations, as I do, it helps to get a visual picture in person of what rooms should look like and talk to someone in person about how to put them together. You can also get many a Bible study tip from little old ladies who've been teaching for years.
Get your curriculum as soon as your director will release it to you. March isn't too early. Read your lessons. Begin collecting all those crazy items you can't imagine how you'd possibly use. Get your head in the game even if you don't possibly have the time to start cutting out those gazillion pieces of paper you'll need for various games and activities.
Have a folder for each day's gazillion pieces of paper. If you can start the cutting early enough to save last minute stresses, don't stress yourself out by losing all the pieces. Put them in seperate folders.
Have a bag for each day's "accessories". This is new for me. I heard about it at my training. I like it. I have a paper grocery bag for my day 1 (which involves having pieces of paper wadded up into balls to resemble rocks). It's nice to have all the unusual items put together in a neat way too. I can just grab each bag as I head out each day to teach.
Learn the songs and the dances. Don't be afraid to do them. The enthusiasm you put forth will be reflected in the kids. The best teachers are the ones who don't care what they look like. God sees your heart, and He will reward.
Work on decorations, but realize they're not the most important thing. Bible study is more important than any craft or amazing waterfall you hang in your classroom.
Pray, pray, pray. Only God can change the hearts of your students and lead them to Himself. He can divert any difficulties that may be hurled your way that week.
Be prepared to share the Gospel. Sure the pastor can and should talk to the kids, but don't be scared to be a part of the most amazing thing that can ever happen in a child's life. Don't let your fear keep you from experiencing the blessing of being the one God used to lead a child to Himself. Remember your ABC's!
Last week, I shared about my breakthrough vacation with my family, at the time a mom of two. I promised to share how we not only survive, but thrive on our vacations. With summer coming, maybe these tips can be of some help to you.
1. Timing is everything. The vacation I described last week could've ended up very differently. Two weeks before a baby's due date isn't usually a smart decision! The first vacation I took with my littles was also not the best timing because my baby was just eight weeks old. For me, that was too young. Although babies that young sleep through most anything and are easy to transport in strollers, carriers, and slings, they often have sensitive little tummies and skin, aren't usually sleeping through the night, and can't communicate a lick of what it is that may bother them. If you're only going to see family, these aggrivations might be worth it, but if you hope to get out and about for recreation, it might be more trouble than it's worth to carry a small infant. Our babies of seven or eight months old, however, do really great on family vacations. Sleeping in an odd location might cause for some sleep disturbance, but usually nothing too difficult to deal with by nursing or cuddling for a few minutes.
2. Take whatever "lovey" your children need. We're Babywise folks, but however hard we might try, our children still end up attached to some blanket or stuffed animal while they're little. We didn't realize how attached our first baby was to what we dubbed her "blinger" - the wind-up part of her crib mobile until we went somewhere without it. We learned, unfortunately too late for her Uncle Nate, the man that graciously drove around town hunting a toy that made similar sounds.
3. Be where the action takes place. If you want to hike, by all means stay in that cabin and enjoy nature. For our last vacation, even though we loved our old familiar state park stomping grounds, we decided to stay in the nearest city so that we could very quickly get to restaurants and fun touristy attractions. I also didn't want to cook or wash dishes (this is vacation we're talking about, after all), which would've happened if we stayed in a cabin.
4. Consider spending a little money in order to save a little money (and sanity). We paid a higher price (though we were still very thrifty) in order to stay at a hotel with a heated indoor pool. It was so worth it! This meant our kids got to swim every day (with it in the mid-50's outside), and we didn't end up spending more money on outside entertainment. We also had a small fridge (for milk-filled sippy cups), a great continental breakfast, and nice exercise facility. My plan had been to take advantage of the treadmill during the kids' naptime, but a really bad cold kept me from it. Sometimes, a suite with a fold-out couch can be found wherever you travel, enabling mom and dad a good place to be once the kids go to bed, not to mention the extra bed a large family may need.
5. Be flexible and train your kids to do the same. An example: All of our three girls share a bedroom, but only the older two share a bad. In a hotel room, they must all three sleep together. For now, they're short, and we've found it works nicely to have them sleep across a queen bed rather than lay in the normal positions for their heads and feet. Our youngest still fits in a pack-n-play. We'll see what happens in the future, but we'll roll with it. While sleeping arrangements can be planned ahead of time, unexpected and disappointing circumstances may also come about. This is part of life, and everyone must learn to "do everything without grumbling and complaining" (Phil. 2:14).
As summer quickly approaches, I hope you'll enjoy vacation time with your family. Now that we've had our family vacation, it'll be my turn with just my husband, also so important to the entire family's well-being!
Spring break was phenomenal for my family this year! Here are my kids at Watauga Lake. And to think I used to live in fear of traveling with babies and toddlers!
This fear surfaced five years ago when my second child was eight weeks old. My oldest was not yet nineteen months old. We decided to go with my in-laws to our regular vacation spot in Roan Mountain, Tennessee. This was our first trip there with our children. Before, the distance from town had been pleasant and the loft was a nice place to sleep.
We traveled a long distance, but the main culprit for our first family vacation to start poorly was my choice of food. I, a nursing mama, ate raw broccoli, not once but twice at the beginning of the week. I don't care what all I learn in every lactation class I take for work, where they continually say it doesn't matter what mom eats - my experience tells me that I must now always stay away from raw broccoli while nursing. My baby girl had the most awful gas all week. Not fun at all.
That loft where I'd always slept didn't work out so well for my toddler. She could hear the adults still awake and fought us every night about sleep. The heat also rose, and with us being newbies at the travel thing, we didn't bring the humidifier she regularly used. Her big blue eyes got all crusty before we left.
It was a challenge, and one I swore I wouldn't go through again. And then...
Still with only two kids, but one very nicely warming in the oven and nearly ready for her debut, we needed to take a family vacation. My husband had been asked to preach a trail sermon in view of a call at a new church. We were feeling God's leading, so even though I was about two weeks away from my due date, we had to take a little road trip. I just didn't tell my OB-GYN when she examined me the day before we left. I praised God I wasn't progressing toward labor.
This time, we only had to drive about three hours. Our new church was paying for the hotel, but my husband being frugal got us an "okay" hotel. We did have a continental breakfast and a clean pool.
We had a ball! Our family made many happy memories. Ok, my husband and I made those memories, and my oldest daughter (almost three at the time) thinks she remembers some of them. We played in the pool to our heart's content. Floating was so nice for my big belly. We went to the beach and listened to our 18-month-old tell the ocean, "No!" in an angry little voice as the water would touch her toes as we walked along the shore. We laughed that she thought she could tell the waves to stop! We enjoyed exploring new places we'd never been before.
My husband and I would put the children to bed at their regular naptime and bedtime, with the exception of the toddler just getting snippets of morning naps on our way somewhere. He and I napped one day, but then there'd be no way we could go to sleep at 8:00 with the kids. Instead, we put lawn chairs in front of the door and had a mini-date. One of us would walk next door to Sonic for drinks while the other stayed with the kids, then we'd visit and/or read books and magazines.
Things went very well with the church, and we were called to serve here. Now, when we drive by that hotel, it is our "Ebenezer" (read 1 Samuel 7). We'd had a period of difficulty, but this was the place where God restored us. That hotel is a visual reminder of God's help and faithfulness to our family.
We've had at least three really great family vacations since that trip, and my husband and I have learned some tricks for traveling with little folks. I hope to share those with you in the next few days, so stay tuned!
